In this text I'll compare the two principal motorcycles brands in my blog, Harley Davidson and Triumph. They're both great bike builders, they were based in 20th century and almost in the same year, but Triumph became famous instantly and Harley found it a bit more difficult, but another similarity is that they both distributed motorcycles during the World War I, Triumph at the beginning and Harley after the entrance of the United States in the champaign, this event economically helped both companies, however, Triumph couldn't be able to keep growing up and Japanese companies became more popular due to their low prizes, but Harley could compete them thanks to their quality.
The last similitude is that both brands produced racing models used in many competitions, that helped them to make a place in the market as two of the greatest brands ever.
Interesting post. However, there are some aspects that could be improved. For example, instead of saying "I'll compare..." you can start saying something more specific. Write a topic sentence. One idea: "Harley Davidson and Triumph are both great builders, even though the last one became famous instantly".
ResponderEliminarI have also observed that you use many commas. I think you can shorten your sentences:
".. they are 20th century companies and were produced almost in the same year, but Triumph became famous instantly and Harley found it a bit more difficult. Another similarity is that they both distributed motorcycles during World War I, Triumph at the beginning and Harley after the entrance of the United States in the champaign. This event helped both companies economicall. However, Triumph.....
Finally, I think you should write a clearer concluding sentence. For example: "All these aspects contribute to make these two marks the greatest ones ever".
Cheers!
Cheers!